finding faith…in something
I have never regretted anything in my life. Every wrong turn, every “no”, every disappointment has brought me to where I am. It’s sometimes hard for me to say that I earned anything because while I worked day in and day out, there is always something that turns out in my favor that I had no part in. And I’m not talking about privilege (even though there is some of that).
I’m not religious…at all. And there are times I wish I was. To find comfort in someone beyond myself would be incredible. Some of the most incredible and kind people that I know, take their religion and mold in into goodness. They scream love and I love them. And of course, I also know some religious people, who do the opposite. Who judge, and hate, and are quick to think that the world owes them something because they “follow a religion of love”. But they never seem to get it right.
But even if I sometimes wish I was, I am content that I am. If anything, I think being non-religious has given me the ability to see the world at face value. I think my values align almost more to religion than a lot of people. I don’t smoke, I have never had alcohol, I’m a vegetarian, and I’m fighting my way to make a difference in the environment and my personal life. I try so hard everyday to become a better person and I don’t have a religion to attribute that to.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not spiritual. I feel like I see life in every corner. The sound the wind makes through the trees, the warm sun as I sit by the pool, all the plants filling up our balcony. Long walks through the busy shopping center or the park, the light music of a piano. Even though I don’t believe in God, I still feel the universe standing behind me. An invisible force saying “You’re doing great, you’re kind, you will succeed”.
Everytime I sit quietly during yoga, I feel it telling me that I am on my way. Everytime a child’s face lights up as I make a little bit of magic, I can see life smiling at me. And I can’t help but think the Universe was there for me at all times, but I never noticed it.